I quit

GOD I hate my life and everything about it I hate the day that I decided being alone was not good enough.... Why did I have to get friends now all I have is extra responsibility and disappointment. Now if I want to kill myself I have to think of others FUCK why did I bother changing I shoulda stuck to being the quiet, depressed, loser in the corner. The only difference now is the quiet & sometimes the corner but seriously if I didn't have anyone but family to worry about I'd be gone already saving myself a shit ton of energy stress and strife!!!! What am I going to do? Sadly I love all the people I involve myself with also sad is that I can't stand another second of this crap my whole life is a circle of stress, disappointment, depression insomnia, self hatred, others hatred for me, faking, lies, failure, misery, (the only thing missing is death) jeez I don't know how much longer I am willing to keep this up :,( it's not worth it. Much longer and I will kill myself, without a doubt.

Happy Anniversary

Thursday January 27th 2011 is my one year anniversary but Anthony works, so I figured no big deal we will just have to spend time together on Sunday or whatever day he has off closest to the date. He had this last Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off but his computer broke on Sunday so we haven't been able to spend any time together and it's driving me insane because I intend to spend the rest of my life with him but I feel like we are drifting apart. I don't know what I should do because I know I love him but its killing me that we always have difficulties spending time together either one of us is busy or we just aren't talking which I guess is nice because it shows how comfortable we are with each other hough it would be nice to have a conversation with him more than once every 5 times we "talk" ugh this is just horrible.

FML

god damn it i quit im so done with existing ='( idk what im gonna do anymore because i cant take anymore insults im going to fucking explode because i cant yell back or ill get my ass beat or cussed out which will lead into a lovely loop i dont want to get into... virtual killing has stopped helping even baking with my bf isnt relaxing me ugh and the car accident didnt help because now they have more to nag me about but i cant say shit and when mat messes with me i still cant say anything because when i do i get told to stop but he can keep picking at me one day im going to explode and kill them all and myself!