Still falling

Another day and another lecture, apparently Everything I do isn't good enough. And I mean who am I to argue with almost everyone around me hell I agree with them anyhow, I have no ambition, I'm adequate at anything I do and the things I really want to do in my future I can't because the fields are limited and I just don't have the talent for them. I'm 17 years old and a total loser, I have one real female friend who I have to take care of like she is a small child because her family is a catastrophe and she can barely handle it. Maybe just maybe sometimes I need someone to take care of ME for a change but god forbid I let that happen because that would be showing my weakness and I just can't do that I can't. I desperately need to get passed this mental roadblock because the depression is getting so much worse and I don't know how much longer I can deal with it, I just can't do this anymore.