Madness

ok so all hell has broken out in my life my parents wont talk without argueing and i think they r getting a divorce so yeah theres that but before this little fit the banned me from talking to a friend i met through call of duty but i had my own little break down and had to talk to someone except it was like one in the morning so i couldnt reach anyone else. =( now my mom took my phone she started asking me about what i think is going on and i really dont want to have that conversation honestly ive been stuck at my grandmas house and well im sick of being here the only person im not sick of is my aunt *sigh* i just wanna go home idc whats going on with my parents i wanna sleep in my bed take a shower with my fave shampoo in my bathroom and be left alone while my parents are at work idk what im gonna do when school starts my mom wont even let me go to my best friends bday party which sucks cause i mean its the last thing before school starts so i wanted to do it i already missed the seniors going away thing at the bowling alley god my mom says she wants us to socialize and just said something about my dad yelling at me but id rather he yelled at me for not doing the dishes than have my grandmother hover over me all day long that kills me inside more than anything else in the world seriously (and my mom just came to check on what i was typing i exited and told her i was just aimlessly venting which is true but i didnt want her to kno what i think of all this its my thoughts but if i didnt vent id kill someone so thats what im doing) i love my grandma and uncle and aunt and mom and bros but i love my dad too and i miss him alot i wanna hang with my friends not that this is new but i really want school to start so that i can just escape hell ill walk to whatever new place my mom has us at if its still my grandmas or she gets an apartment or whatever she wants but i just wanna get away for a bit idk what im gonna do without my dad its been like 4 days and i already cry when i think of him. thank god i had anthony on my side we were fighting when i called him and he totally forgot everything and helped me feel better not many people can do that and im glad i have such a good friend i just wish i could help him to i mean he lost his best friend in a car accident and another friend was just in a car accident and is in critical condition at the hospital i feel so bad but im glad that i can talk to him and put a smile on his face its nice to feel helpful considering all day i feel like a useless lump even when im cleaning or doing whatever. i definitly need a surefire escape to get away from all this bs just a way to get the feeling everything is gonna be alright even if i dont know that for sure. i love my family all of them no matter what happens and im not exactly extatic about my mom and dad argueing period but this is extreme ive been a daddys girl all my life and i dont want to live without him but idk if he even wants me or my bros o be with him but ill keep my chin up and deal with whatever happens

Lots of Emotions

-CNK