Blues

so today idk why but i just had to tell my boyfriend about my doubts about "us" he didnt take it too fantastically but he took it better than i thought he would we are still together and are going to try to make this all work out but still.... i love him but idk its not as strong a love as it needs to be for "us" to work forever. maybe im just too particular about these things. cause i mean its not that we arnt happy together its that i cant take the uncertainty the inability to be with him... so yeah it is kinda about the distance but who doesnt want to be able to hold thier boyfriends hand at least once so i know im not completely insane. i am aware that it is really rare to find a guy willing to commit to you for a lifetime unless hes "the one" i do wish he is that special someone but i really doubt it. still hes so sweet and amazing idc what my gut is telling me im gonna stay with him for as long as possible! cause he is trying so why shouldnt i....

Heaven V.S Hell

Today was the best morning Ive had as far back as i can remember, i got to talk to my boyfriend @4am then i took a HOT shower (our water heater has been broken) got to talk to another friend bike to school (which i love doing cause it means i can do the next thing..) got Starbucks and still made it to school within my time. then i got some work done on my art project saw my ceramics pot (which looked awesome) understood what was going on in chemistry & aced a Japanese test.... then i had English class i got a C on a project i put way too much time into lost my possible extra credit because my class is full of stupid mother fuckers, got to ceramics and the kid who sits across from me was messing around and BROKE my FUCKING POT!!! god my day was born when i woke up was in its prime in art then got old and had a heart attack as English started then had another heart attack was put on a respirator and died after pulling the plug on itself in ceramics!! i mean i was in such a terrible mood when i got home my boyfriend (who i am totally in love with) couldn't cheer me up =( as the day progressed i started feeling a little better then i realized my parents have me looped in for babysitting my little brother (this is the third weekend in a row) i cant complain too much though... i just got a 2006 Avalon !BUT! my mom is threatening to withhold my right to drive it unless i drop 40lb. GRAWR!!!! Someone just shoot me in the forehead already!